Sundays

It's Sunday. Which means most things are closed on this side of the world. Families are at home relaxing and enjoying each other's company. Madrid, aside from the tourists, is a ghost-town.

I hate Sundays in Madrid. Being the typical non-stop, errand-running, petrol-consuming American city-girl, I find myself bored out of my mind on Sundays here in Europe. Today I woke up at 10:30 (upset that I didn't sleep-in any later), ate cereal, sat in bed catching up on Hollywood gossip online, checking the FB, emails, etc. I showered, read some news and spent about 15 minutes trying to figure out how to set up Sebastian's PS2 (I WILL buy Guitar Hero World Tour for the PS2, if it's the last thing I do). A little while later I ate a big lunch and pondered for 10 or so minutes on how I should style my hair today (by the way, I opted for the oh-so-fancy up-do bun I am so famous for.)

When I don't busy myself with these useless errands, I find that the only thing left to do is think. Now, to the average person, this option would not be so bad. In fact, to most, it proves beneficial and most of the time, obligatory.

Then there's me. Usually, when I find myself with nothing to do but think, I end up with feelings of regret, anxiety, doubt, confusion, etc. I have a tendency to think of the negative things, for some reason. This week, for example, has been quite a tumultuous one. Insecurity, lack of trust, stupid arguments, drunk arguments, throwing phones and car keys, homesickness, boredom and exhaustion are some of the surpressed and not-so-supressed events/emotions that I've subjected myself to. I did a lot of things I regret and a lot of things I feel completely terrible about (Sebastian, I'm sorry.) Then there are lots of things I am still angry/bitter about, that I end up holding in and hiding from until, well, Sunday...

And here it is. Sunday. And here I am. Thinking.

I'm glad it's almost Monday.